Attachment means to be attached to the outcome. Attachment means doing something with the hope that something good will come out of it. Attachment means clinging to something or depending on something because it gives us security, acknowledgement, value, recognition, good feelings or good returns in terms of self -gratification. Attachment also means trying to control the outcome of events through our actions. So, when attachment does not work, ( i.e. it fails to give us good returns or good feelings), it brings pain and disillusionment to the person. This is how attachment works in our daily life and this is how attachment brings pain.
Our society thinks that it is natural to be attached to
something because of the simplistic thinking that if a person does something
good, it must come back to him ! So, when something good does not happen to
him, he becomes negative. In this way, attachment controls people.
Why does attachment sometimes not work ? It is because
everybody is attached to something , everybody is expecting something good in
return. Hence, a situation is created where everybody is dependent on each
other for self gratification. Without the other person, the person does not
feel complete or adequate. He needs the other person to satisfy his needs in
attachment. He thinks that it is "natural" to expect and it is
natural to be dependent on the other for self satisfaction and happiness. So,
dependency turns into something natural, something like the "law of
nature", as if we cannot live without it (like we cannot survive without
water ).
Through dependency and attachment, we create a situation or
condition of survival, where in fact, such a condition does not exist. We
create a cage and enslave ourselves in it whereas, there is no cage there in
the first place. It is a self created cage.
It is like saying," If you give me something I want, I
am ready to help you/give you/love you". It is something that is
conditional. Something that depends on a condition.
Without that condition, there is no relationship, no love,
no growth.
Our entire life is conditioned by it.
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There are many aspects of our everyday life which we take
for granted. Not only that, they are the source of our subconscious pain. Yet
we are unaware of them. Attachment is one such aspect of our life.
