Writing Again ( by Sanghamitra Nath)

Dear Friends,

I am writing again, after a long long time. The last time I wrote was 5 months back and before that, 3 Years back.

Sometimes, I wonder why I don't write as much as I used to even though I love to write so much !  Maybe, one of the reasons is that I have lost the connection that I used to have with my own self. Or that for a long long time, I have forgotten what it means to have a sense of self.

Today, some of my old Blogger friends were discussing about the lost art of writing and blogging. Their conversation has motivated me to write again. So, after a long gap, I am writing again.

Writers like me live in a highly abstract world- a world which cannot be understood by many and sometimes, if you begin to describe it, they may call you weird or strange. So, it is best to put down my thoughts in writing (to self ) rather than speaking ( to others). It is very essential for abstract people like writers to express their thoughts and in the absence of many people not understanding us, we have to get it out of our system not by trying to explain to people by speaking out but by writing out in a journal or a blogging platform. Of course, we are speaking to an audience but that is later. First, we are speaking to ourselves. We are putting ourselves in front of the world but before that, we are "coming out"of our shells in which we have been hiding for so long. This is a sign of establishing or asserting our identity.
Writers write about what is important for them.What they have known for so long. What they love. What they want. What they hope. What keeps them going. The conversations that they have with themselves. What they want to release or surrender.
And these conversations can be sometimes very long, absurd and abstract for the readers but not for the writers. For them, writing is life itself.

Anyways, I am already feeling so good for being finally able to write after a long long time. So much has happened over these years. I did not even document these incidents and events in my writing. But that is not necessary. I am not saying that analyzing or keeping record of our lives is not necessary but what is perhaps more necessary is our connection with our self even after all these years and not getting lost in the events that overpowered us.

I think I have said enough for today. I hope to keep writing in this space as frequently as possible.

New Home ( by Sanghamitra Nath)

 

Finally, I have arrived in my new home. And suddenly, I am feeling that so much have changed in all these years. I am in a place now where I never thought I would be. Therefore, more than ever before, I believe that it is LIFE that chooses us and prepares us for its next turn and not us. We would like to believe that we are the doer of things, the creator of events but it is not us. We are being prepared by LIFE to do things. Even if you don't do anything, something will come up and turn your world upside down.

 Among many things that I have noticed is that I have become more and more reclusive. Once upon a time, in the Victorian age, being a recluse or a solitary man was not uncommon. Writers, poets and artists were often like that. Hermits, scholars and monks also led a solitary existence. In fact, some amount of silence and solitude was even mandatory for writers to write, artists to paint and monks to pray. Not only to write, pray and paint but also to cook and tend to the garden. 

Even if things can be done without silence and solitude, yet with silence + solitude, an ordinary moment  becomes beautiful and starts having a soul of its own. I believe that magic often happens in silent moments when nobody is watching or influencing you. Where you are not even influenced by your own thoughts.

Solitude means being in your own company rather than in the company of other men all the time. I have noticed that I gain very little in life if I remain with a lot of people all the time. I tend to react more, get upset and affected more. And I lose a sense of purpose, a sense of well being. I get lost in the chatter of the world. Only solitude helps me to listen to my inner voice. Solitude helps me to create beauty, beauty  in everything including beauty of thoughts, actions and purpose.

Although I may not be able to live for beauty always, it is something that I aspire for. It calms me down. The kind of beauty that is created from trash, brokenness or ordinary things fascinate me even more. Like alchemy. Like hay turning into strands of gold. Like life that was once broken, repressed and hopeless but now, healed and empowered. 
But the big question is : Can we be in the midst of chaos, a society full of people and their mindless chatter and disturbing noise, yet be able to silence our minds ?  
This is something that I am exploring now.

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Picture 1 : Home decor /my living room
Picture 2 : My watercolor paintings