(Please refer to my previous post -part 1 to understand this part better)
In my previous post, I have concluded that if our idealism, love, hope and positivity is not reciprocated, we might turn critical, negative and violent over a period of time. So, the question now is how can we channelize our idealism without getting hurt ?
Idealist people need some kind of connection and passion. They require an idealist atmosphere to thrive. They either need to "give or share" love. They need to do something that is related to love. But how do we express love without fear ? How do we express love without being taken advantage of ?
The moment we are taken advantage of, all love turns into fear, anger or violence. Yet, at the same time, we cannot do without love. We cannot go on in our life when love is lacking or missing.
Initially, what happens is that we give our love and we continue to give love even after we are hurt or taken advantage of. It is because we have an abundance of love that we are willing to give and share even after the initial hurt.
But as time goes by, this non-reciprocity makes us bitter and we cannot give love, anymore, any longer. We become bitter and hard. This hardness makes us cold and uncomfortable. Then how can we continue to feel love or give love ?
What LOVE means to you - which is something very deep and committed is "seen" very differently by others. For them, love is not as deep or selfless. Rather it is selfish (when they use you to maximize their selfish needs or when they pressurize you to do things for them or simply use you and then conveniently forgets to address your needs when they arise).
So, even if you give or share love selflessly, you will never get the same/ exact feelings back. Because they "DO NOT FEEL or EXPERIENCE" love the same way you are experiencing it. You have to understand this. For other people, it is an act, an acting, a mask to get their things done and also a mask to function normally or socially. They are not deep and true.
So, think about it. Where are you investing your LOVE now and where should you invest rather ? And even if you are investing or giving selfless love , do other people feel the same way ? Probably not. Moreover, for them, love is constant talking and communicating without any feelings involved. Only small talk about "how are you, how is the weather" without having any feelings for you .
So, if you think that by communicating and by taking part in all these conversations will make love come alive, it will NOT because the basic energy is missing. ( somebody can copy you but cannot copy your vibes/energy). That is why, we feel drained even after a normal conversation. So, talk and communicate but do not expect any compassion or emotional empathy from that communication.
What is love according to you is very different from what is love, according to them. Maybe, for their loved ones ( their children, parents , grandkids, etc.etc. ) they have a bit of emotional empathy, but for you, and in regard to your feelings, they have none. For you, the only thing that is there is to have meaningless conversations (aka small talk that drags on for hours and brings them and their close circle to the centre of attention) which will drain you, confuse you and even make you angry later on. So, tread carefully.
But then the question that remains to be answered is -How do we, (as idealists, empaths and feelers ) stay sane, happy and content if this world is sometimes a very difficult place to live in ? Stay tuned for the third part of this blog post, where I shall discuss about how an empath/idealist can thrive in the midst of difficulties.
Thank you for reading !
Thank you for reading !